Mary Bryant Books

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A Tale of Two Islands

I wonder if you go here as often I do.  It’s so effortless to get to, but oh so difficult to escape from.  In fact, if we’re not careful, we can find ourselves marooned here for a time that brings neither comfort nor gain.  

These tropic isles look so inviting, with their lounge chairs and cute umbrellas.  Everyone is tan, slender, kind, happy… There is no fighting, no ill-will, just lovey dovey and hunky dory perfection.

 

When you visit this paradise, you get to choose – the Island of Used to Be or the Island of Should Be. They both cost the same price, and I’ll tell you – it’s steep.  

 

I wish I knew the reason why I so often run ashore here.  The truth is, both destinations are deserted.  No one still exists where we think we left them under the cabana of “Everything Was Wonderful Then.”  We want to believe that we can go back and feel the same feelings, surrounded by oceans of love and good tidings.  But for some reason, despite all our best efforts, we just can’t dip our toes in the sand and not feel blue.  Like a rip tide, we get sucked under and taken away.

 

Of course, the same is true when we step upon the pristine Resort of Should Be.  Everything runs on time, cars don’t break down, bills are paid in full and before the due date, people respond as we want them to when we call or have the need to convey our every intention.  No one gets hurt or fights or blames… And the best part?  We are in control.  

 

I think that in our quest for happiness, we imagine all the right scenarios that would make it so.  We go so far to conceive a place where the seas are calm and turquoise, the grass is greener, our loved ones love us back as intensely as we love them.  We are in search of destinations of perfection, and we think we can get there if only….

 

I don’t presume to know all the ways of God.  I can only share what my heart and expectations believe of Him, and what the Word and my experiences have proven to be true.  He loves us, He’s always bringing us forward, He’s there in the struggle as He is there in the moments of bliss. 

 

We can never go back and relive our lives, redo our mistakes, take away what hurt us or what we did to hurt others.  We can only take steps in the direction of reconciling these things within our own selves first, so that we can leave them where they are and start anew. 

 

We can’t help looking back to our Used to Bes.  And we certainly can’t affect our Should Bes by dwelling in them.  We have to take action.  We have to trust that God has a plan for us.  We have to do our part by first accepting what is and then moving from there one shaky step after shaky step. 

 

To be honest, I think what our hearts yearn most for is Peace.  Peace in knowing we are doing what we can, peace in knowing our hearts are open, peace in letting go of unforgiveness and bitterness, peace knowing we can’t live wishing for what was or for what should be… these are mirages. 

 

Peace comes in knowing that we aren’t in control, but God is.  

 

I don’t think you can have true happiness without first having peace.  And, once we have it, we need to offer it to others who need it too.  When we are filled by the Spirit of Peace, we are pliable, fearless, willing to go where God wants to take us.   Without it, we are empty, conflicted, closed, and unable to paddle away from those two deserted islands. We are living in our heads, and not our hearts.

 

Peace puts two oars in the waters of life and allows us to make progress without losing sight of where we’ve been while also looking to the horizon for what comes next. 

 

Keep paddling, girl.  Sometimes it takes a while to notice that the landscape is changing, and you are moving in the right direction.  It almost always takes longer than we plan and it’s natural to sometimes feel weary.  Just keep going.   

 

Peace is a not a destination, it’s a process.  When you find it, you will know it.  It’s a long way from the islands of Used to Be and Should Be… It’s where you will find your greatest joy, potential and healing.

 

It’s already in you.  

 

I wish you love… and Peace.