Always Run After Me

Did you ever have the experience as a kid where you felt so mad, so dejected at something that happened that you threatened to run away?  I can remember at least one occasion where I pulled a small overnight case from my closet and made a dramatic exit from my front door, bent on making the point that I could take care of myself, doggone it.  (Of course, it didn’t take but a short trip around the block to realize I had nowhere else to go.)

Later in life, I would love someone who, when we argued, would lob the kind of verbal arrows that would cause me to want to do the same thing.  Although I never packed a bag, I can recall more than once the need to cool off by taking a brisk walk in dark wee hours when most people were asleep.  

The point is not that I had trouble with conflict, so much as I wanted desperately for the people who were supposed to love me to run after me, make amends, show me that they cared.  A hug, an apology — even the smallest effort — would have soothed an achy, wounded spirit. 

Hurt feelings, bad language, breaches of every kind divide us in ways we can barely comprehend.  They happen in every relationship.  They happen on a trigger or from some deep harbored dysfunction that festers and maligns our ability to love as we should.

The sin in all of this, is not that we have falling outs.  We are human.  It is simply not possible to avoid occasional disagreements over big and little things.   It is, rather, in what we do to right a situation that determines who we really are.

We all need grace.  

We all want to have someone run after us and tell us that we matter.

The truth is, sometimes the people we yearn to turn around and see are not the ones who are there.  Sometimes all we have is God to remind us that we are loved.  Sometimes we have to wait a long time to hear “I’m sorry.”  And sometimes, it never, ever comes at all.

A lack of empathy, a pressing need to be right, an unwillingness to see another’s perspective, all cloud our ability to build bridges.  Some people seem to have no conscience.  Others run after the world’s approval, rather than God’s.  None of this ends well. 

I wish I understood why the simplest words are the hardest to say.

God is running after us always, wanting us to know that His love is unconditional.  He’s not always pleased at how we are treating others or how they are treating us.  He’s called us to love one another, to be faithful, to be His hands and feet, to forgive as we have been forgiven.

He wants us to do better. 

It’s difficult sometimes to forgive when the wounds are deep.  Some misdeeds are handed down generationally.  Some boundaries are intended to stay in place because people cannot be trusted to be honest, faithful, or even kind. 

That’s on them.

All we can do, is all we can do.  The rest is always in God’s hands.

If you know you have fallen short, reach out.

If you have hurt another in word or deed, apologize.

If you would rather punish someone for their mistake, give grace instead.

We are all just kids with little suitcases wanting someone to come for us.

We can always be bigger people.  We can wish someone well from afar.  We can pray for them.  We can stop harboring in our hearts our silent intention to see “what goes around, comes around.” 

Nothing goes unnoticed by God.  

Sometimes we have to just leave our baggage where it is and realize that God wants better for us.  The hurts we carry are weighing us down.  He wants us to open up the door to our hearts and let healing refresh us, revive us, renew us.

We need to stop looking backwards and recognize that God has our future, our Peace, in His hands.  

I wish for you what I wish for myself.  

People are going to let you down.  Some will never bother to let you know that you mattered, that you meant something, acknowledging that you did your very best and made a difference in their lives.

In time, we all come to realize it’s okay.

Focus on knowing that you belong to God.  And though it may not look right now like how you want it to, He knows the plans He has for you.  He is turning all things for your good.

You are loved. You matter. Keep walking.

God always has your back.