The First Stone
Have you ever had this happen? Someone you know brings up a memory from a long time ago and —although it sounds vaguely reminiscent — their version of the story is not at all like how you remember it. It happens often when my kids get together. They will go on an on about “the time we did such and such,” and then retell what I said or did when I found out. They think it’s all in good fun. But it makes me wonder… What was I going through at the time that would cause me to react that way?
I guess we all have things that we would rather forget.
There are so many versions of “truth.” In families, in politics, in friendships — while experiencing the exact same circumstance, people can have completely different outcomes. What might help one, harms another. What causes one person to better understand what they don’t want in their life, creates an attraction to it for someone else. Where we hope to unite, we divide — and vise versa. One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.
It’s so complex. How are we ever to know what to say and do?
My son in law was reminded of what his dad always said to him. “It all just boils down to treating others they way you want to be treated. If everyone just would do that one thing, everything would be better all the way around.” Exactly.
Jesus taught this version of the Golden Rule, while drawing in the sand before the woman who was caught in adultery. “Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone at her.” In other words, no one is perfect. We are all sinners, and all are deserving of compassion and grace.
As I often say here, I think a lot about legacy. Of course, I know my kids are going to have stories that will not always have me shining in the brightest light. But I hope they will also remember the books we read, the songs we sang, the times we danced in our jammies in the living room, sat on the couch and just talked, or laughed at the silliest things until tears ran down our faces. I hope that they will look back and know that their dad and I did our best to raise them well, and that love for them was one commodity we had plenty of.
And so it is with God. Sometimes, all we can recall is our versions of the difficulty and the hurt, and how hard it was to push through. We note the times we’ve come up short, and the trauma of things we endured without ever understanding why. And we question Him just a little — Why all the stones?
God looks at the very same things and says, “You didn’t understand it at the time, but there’s a reason for that which you will see down the road.” He reminds us of our blessings, of the times he carried us through, how He heard and answered our prayers, how He was with us when we danced, and counted the tears as we cried. We’re His kids, and His love for us never ends.
That’s His legacy in our lives.
No one is perfect. People will blame us, speak ill of us, and fail as they do to look in their own mirrors. Most, we hope, will remember our attempts to be there when they needed, to not forget a birthday, to teach by example in how we work, and love, and live. They will recall our kindness, our honesty, our character. They will realize, that though we walk by faith, we still might make a wrong turn now and then. And sometimes, when we’ve tried hard to treat others as we would like to be treated, it still doesn’t change the outcome.
There are times we all need a gut check. I ask myself often — If I died today, would I leave enough behind for those I love to remember me well?
Everyday is a new opportunity to make certain that the answer is yes.
God doesn’t just want us to treat each other as we would want. He wants us to love each other as He does.
Perhaps it’s not so complex after all.
Even when one person’s version of truth is different from your own, it’ll be alright. Keep leading with your heart, and you’ll get where you need to be.
Remember to love well… and the rest will take care of itself.