The Things We Think We Want

Like many people, I hear myself saying the phrase “It is what it is…” far too often.  As if that settles it. As if that excuses people and situations that are less than ideal, and somehow, all is made palatable with those words.

I hate it.

A few years ago, when the stakes were really high, this sentence was used to explain to me why someone’s behavior was so egregious, so hurtful, that there simply was nothing else that could be said except “It is what it is.”  Not — I’m sorry I smashed your heart to pieces.  Nothing that signaled remorse or even the smallest attempt at faux empathy.  As if all accountability was tied up with the dangling participles of that phrase, all that was left for me to do was accept it and move on.  

I’ve been thinking about the things we think we want, and how we go about getting them.  I mean, let’s face it. Some people can be cruel.  They go off in search of greener pastures, friends, relationships — they are sure they have the golden ticket.  They burn bridges, turn their backs, and discard what no longer works with their new narrative. Like a chameleon, they take on new looks and personalities.  They give all they have away for a chance to grab the golden ring and fill the voids hidden deep within them.  No cost is too great… 

But is this real?  Is it what it is?

I have good friends and family in ministry.  How many times have I heard, after decades of counseling people, “I know they think they’re happy now, but it’s not going to end well…” Like a template - or a best selling novel - there is always a time when the other shoe drops.  The merry-go-round simply stops.

We all know the story of the prodigal son.  Perhaps we have even taken a turn or two at forsaking a friend or family member, only to find when the night is long and we are stuck looking at the pig slop, we realize how comforting knowing them again would be. 

I think God waits for us here. This is where He finally gets our attention and can tell us the truth.

So what?  I’m sure you are wondering what my point is.  It’s not a hard one, really.  It’s just that, what we think we want, is often held together by the things that don’t flash and sparkle and zoom.  They aren’t dashing men or women, jet setting adventures, or the non-stop fun of some happy-go-lucky life. 

Instead, they are quiet and comfortable, honest and true.  They are the smell of your favorite meal, an old episode of Friends, a compassionate voice on the other end of the phone.  They are being able to picture what your next season will be like, and who will be in it with you.  It’s hearing the rain on your roof at night and thanking God everyone is safe.  

God never promises that what we go through won’t come at a cost.  We have to go through Jericho to reach the Promised Land.  But when we get there, if we have fought the good fight, if we are living faithfully, lovingly, honestly — if we are following Him even when it’s hard, we will know the comfort of a job well done.  We will appreciate the milk and honey.  We will understand that having what we want, comes by standing, and being patient, and waiting on Him.

That is what it is. 

Neon lights go out in time, as do the fly by night feelings of flashy friends and people.  The party always ends, eventually.  The question is, what did you sell for the fleeting moments these gave?  

God knows.  He’s waiting for you to figure it out. It’s never too late.

And if you are the one left praying for your prodigal, keep praying.  Know that He is with you, and He has a plan for all that happens, even though it means we need to walk in the valley for a while. 

Keep the faith.  The real thing we want comes with a name.  

It is called Peace. 

You can’t buy it, and you won’t find it “out there” somewhere.

God is your unlimited supply.

Go on — get you some.  He already paid the price.

All you need to do, is ask.