The Big Leap

Can you think of something you did that required a lot of faith?

We think of them as big, monumental things.  I know of people who left corporate America to follow their hearts into ministry.  A friend of mine, just left her job to start her own flower business, trading the keyboard for soil and color and sunshine.  Another, who has finally decided to write a book that has burned within her soul for decades.

Leaps of faith come in all kinds of shapes and sizes.  

I was thinking about this, contemplating as I do, what causes some of us to move into action, to choose a new direction, and others not.  I can’t help but wonder about my own tendencies, my own willingness to stay planted in ways of doing things that don’t seem to vary much.  Am I supposed to try something new?  To venture outside my comfort zone and see what is out there?  The questions inside our heads are endless. 

Nelson Mandela said, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.  The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

And so it is as we walk in faith. 

It’s natural to think that leaps of faith only happen in ways that show on the outside of us.  We change jobs, sell homes, get married or divorced, accept handwriting on walls we wished we didn’t have to do.  Our world is shaken up from the inside, out.  People can look at our circumstances and know that something has shifted in a big way.

Other times, our leaps are not so noticeable.  Maybe it’s just in standing for what’s right, in being a constant in our kids’ lives when it would be easier to run along and have our fun.  Maybe it’s in going against the tide, in not following the herd, in being true to our principles, our covenants, our morals. 

Maybe it’s in just waiting on God, no matter how long it takes.  

Fear will come and poke and harangue us no matter if we are moving or standing still. We have to do it anyway.

The thing I am learning about life, when we follow our hearts, no matter what direction we head in, it will be True North.  It doesn’t always feel like it.  There is most always conflict, or feathers ruffled, or sacrifice.  But if we are doing what we should, if we are walking by faith, He will make a way.

God places within us our callings, our purpose, our intentions to reach our potential in ways big and small.   We are called to help, not to harm.  To encourage, to enrich, to empower by our example.  We are to sow good seeds into soil that will bring about a harvest, often times against all odds.

Sometimes, the evidence of the leaps we take in faith, do not show up for a long, long time.  

Nothing in life comes with guarantees.  People change.  The economy cycles and dips and soars.  Things come and knock us off our course —  lapses of fortune, health, or relationships.  Sometimes, we hunker down and let the storm pass.  Others, we must pick up the pieces and move on.  All of this can leave us feeling desperate and in fear.  All of this requires courage.   

My point is, it takes just as much faith sometimes to stand still as it does to move.  We are called at different times to do both.  If God is in it, He will honor it. He will nudge you, prune you, confirm for you, protect you, open or shut doors before you.  He will give to you a knowing, deep within your spirit, that you are on the right path.  Rest assured, it will always change you.

The progress is in the process.  We are constantly being refined.  We are constantly evolving into who it is that He is calling us to be.  In tiny, incremental ways, or in complete, 180 degree shifts.

You know this, don’t you?  You know that there is something He is calling you to do, to trust Him for, to stand in faith, to adjust your way of looking at something or someone, to forgive, or to make a leap that will launch you into a whole new stratosphere.

Whatever it is, take courage, and know that it will be alright.  

Let go of the edge. He’s got you.  He’s not going to let you fall.  Better days are ahead. 

Go ahead, girl.

Leap. 

Imperfect Prayers

Have you ever questioned if God can hear your prayers?  I know I have.

I feel so inadequate sometimes, as I stammer through my litany of wants, and needs, and thank you’s… My list of petitions gets rattled off in fractured, staccato sentences.  I wonder how He can make sense of them.

I have friends who can light up the Spirit with words that wax eloquent.  They seem to pluck them right from the mouths of angels, and you can nearly see them ascend in reverence before the Throne.  

These are not mine.

In the midst of crisis, in the tempest of a storm, we have no hesitancy.  “God, please help… Please heal… Please find… Please mend…Please…. Hear me, God.”  We plead and beg and stutter and nearly throw ourselves down, searching for sight of Him, desperate to touch the hem of His garment.  We bring our faith full-throttle to the door, and knock as loudly as we can.

Other times, our prayers marinate in a season of hurts and difficulties and chaos.  They start out one way, and slowly ebb into another.  Our urgencies give way to resignation that we are in it for the long haul.  We begin to doubt, so we plant within our spirits every mustard seed we can find to rouse our faith to full abandon. 

And we wait.  

There are times we can’t help but wonder what is taking God so long.  Discouragement slowly replaces our resolve, to the point we realize that we have simply stopped asking, stopped praising, stopped believing that what we have asked of Him will ever come to be.  Maybe we don’t know how to pray.  Maybe He’s angry with us.  Maybe we don’t deserve His help.

Maybe that’s just me.

Of course, it’s not our job to tell God how He is to answer us.  Still, we try.  We suggest to Him how we would like everything to work out.  Like the ending of a movie, the hero will ride in and set our world back on its axis.  The girl gets the boy.  The underdog gets the job, wins the game, finishes the race.  Everyone lives happily ever after.

We know that’s just not always how it works.  

In the season I’ve been in, I’m learning things about God that I didn’t quite understand before.  I see Him now — not so much as the Save the Day kind of God — but more like the dad who teaches his kid how to ride a bike.  You’ve got to get on the bike in order to ride it.  Even when you’re afraid, you’ve got to peddle, learn how to brake, start out wobbly.  Learning to ride, means you will also fall and skin your knees a bit. 

All the while, He’s watching, cheering you on, protecting you from venturing too far out without Him.  Before you know it, you’ve mastered it.  Not because He rescued you, but because you persevered.  He’s taught you that you can. 

Life takes us down roads we never can imagine we would have to travel. Maybe it’s because there are blessings up ahead that we can’t claim as ours until we progress on the road we’re on now.  The only way to reach them, is to keep peddling. 

And so it is with our prayers. It’s not what we say that makes them effective.  It’s that we say them — Imperfect in our cadence, unrighteous in our raw need, honest in our desires to have them answered.  We yearn, we doubt, we want desperately to see Him move and mend and heal and provide.  

Sometimes, all we can do is groan.  

Our imperfect prayers are made perfect in His love for us… And what we do not say with words, He already knows what we need.  He bridges the gap for us.  He sends us grace, mercy, forgiveness, and peace. 

Yes, we still have to wait sometimes.  

God may answer us miraculously, instantaneously.  But most times, He has to do a little tinkering in us first.  He has to teach us something, so that we can know that even when we fall, we can get back up and keep on going. 

He’s always watching, always cheering, always protecting us from venturing off too far without Him. 

There is a testimony on the other side of what you are going through.  He doesn’t want perfect prayers. He wants your raw, doubt-riddled, harried, questioning, stammering ones, so that in His answer to them, He can show His power and perfection.

My words are often always the same as I lay my burdens at His feet.  “I trust You, God…Nothing is impossible for You.”

Nothing is. 

Keep praying, girl. He hears you.  

Just keep peddling. 

Extraordinarily Ordinary

Have you ever wondered if you are living your best life?

Many of us discount who we are, what we’ve accomplished, what we have survived and lived though, only to call ourselves “ordinary.”  When we’re starting out, we think we are supposed take on the world.  We intend to make our mark.  We have high hopes and big expectations.

And then, real life comes and sits at our kitchen tables.  Happily, we swap our dreams for Pampers and crayons and book bags and Sunday dinners and Family Fun nights… Life is hectic, and harrowing, and wonderful. 

Many times, I remember thinking that the world had nothing that I wanted more than what I had when my kids were little, and Mac and Cheese was gourmet. 

People dream of doing extraordinary things.  We see ourselves accomplishing goals. We imagine ourselves traveling, earning awards, entertaining in our sprawling home in the hills…  All of that falls away, when we understand that our truest purpose doesn’t come with any of this. 

Sure, it would be great to win the Pulitzer.  But you taught your kids to read, and the PTA thinks you write a pretty good news letter.  Your Tuesday night casserole got a thumbs-up by your family, and your neighbor wants your chili recipe. That’s not too shabby.

When the lights dim just a little, when our roles change, when relationships and circumstances morph in ways we cannot anticipate, why do we look back and question if we accomplished anything worth while?

It’s times like these, when people do crazy things.  They fly in directions hither and yon, thinking they somehow missed the boat called Extraordinary — the one with all the fun-filled adventures — and they go out in search of it.  They deserve it!   

“There’s a sucker born every minute,” that wise man, PT Barnum, once said. 

I am writing this from the Shores of Ordinary.  I have found that the people I admire most, live here too.  Oh, how I wish I could shout it from the roof tops, so that everyone would know this truth —  Our greatest accomplishments are in the simple things we do with extraordinary consistency.

Be on-time.  Speak honestly. Walk your talk.  Mean what you say, and say what you mean. Keep your promises. Don’t walk away when others need you.  Honor God, your Country, and your commitments.  Forgive. Live within your means. Be faithful.  Know that everything you do has a consequence.  Be grateful. Pray. Don’t compromise your principles, your family, or your faith. Be a blessing to others…

Mother Teresa said, “Not all of us can do great things.  But we can do small things with great love.”  

I could be wrong about this, but I think that extraordinary lives are those lived for others, not yourself.  

When God wants to tell us something, it doesn’t come in a thunder clap or a golden banner dropped from the sky.  He tells us in a whisper to be still.  To love each other. To do your best.  To trust Him.  

He does extraordinary things in the ordinary.  In babies, that cuddle after their bath.  In moments when you really need the truth, and someone cares enough to tell it to you.  In standing and fighting for your family, in the midst of difficult times.  In sitting bedside when someone you love is sick.  In being a friend, even when it’s going to cost you something…  He’s in all of this. 

When God wanted to show His love, He sent His son to walk among us so that we could learn to be more like Him.  Simple. Extraordinarily ordinary. 

He’s still here, inside of you and me.  

Do not wonder what value you are to God or others.  If your heart is open, if you’ve loved without conditions, if you’ve lived in faith and try to follow His ways, then you have accomplished so much more than you can ever know.

And if you haven’t, if you’ve made some wrong turns or bad decisions, it’s never too late to start again.

Extraordinary is cloaked in the ordinary, so that we will understand that it is never out there somewhere.  God’s best for us, is in how we love each other, right here and right now.   

Stay the course. Walk by faith. Love well. 

You are Extraordinarily Ordinary. 

And that makes all the difference. 

There is someone out there that needs to hear this… pass it on. 

Never and Forever

I woke in the middle of the night with this phrase blazing like a neon sign inside my head “Never is a long, long time.”  I’ve had this happen to me before.  Out of a sound sleep, my eyes spring open to the presence of words that are dropped into my spirit. They have texture, weightiness, importance.  But what in the world do they mean? 

I sat up, ruminating on them.  There was nothing that my conscious mind was thinking about, no dream to cause me to be nudged awake.  Oddly, my mind drifted to an obscure song I remembered hearing on a record album my grandmother played by Andy Williams.  “Until the Twelfth of Never.” 

You ask me how much I need you, must I explain?

I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain

You ask how long I’ll love you, I’ll tell you true

Until the Twelfth of Never, I’ll still be loving you

Maybe it’s the fact that I am turning another year older.  My mind, my spirit, my heart — all are working overtime to recount the last year and — consequently, the ones before that.   As if there needs to be an accounting, an inventory of my days.  I cannot help but see all the “nevers” I never thought there would be. 

You have them too, I bet.

I never imagined the state of certain things, relationships, disappointments.  I never would have believed it possible that I would witness proclivities in our nation, so bent on deceit and disrespect.  In my present stage of life, that there would be some people I never thought would be absent, and some I never anticipated to be so present.  It’s all such a conundrum of forevers and nevers. 

But God.

There are so many things that happen to us in this thing called life.  We start out with our heads in the clouds a bit — imagining how all our plans and dreams will just roll out like a red carpet before us.  Things we never think will happen, don’t.  We are in control, after all.  We determine our destiny.  

Or so we think.  

Another image came to me as I pondered my “never” phrase.  It was of a bag of Scrabble tiles, letters, that are taken out, and with them we create words that mean something to us.  We all hope for the right mix of vowels and consonants.  We all want for what we have been given to spell for us everlasting fortunes of love, faith, health, provision.  Sometimes, a tile is missing, and no matter what we do, we seem unable to manifest the words, the emotions, of what our hearts desire.

I understood then what maybe God was telling me.  

The only thing we are to fully know, is that God will never leave us.  It may feel as though He does at times, when we go through storms and difficulties.  It may seem as though all is lost forever when people and circumstances let us down.  Things will happen that will cause our hearts to break, our tears to flow, our humility to overtake us.  Pieces of us go missing for a time.

But until the twelfth of never, God will still be loving you.  He’ll still be hearing your prayers, healing your hurts, mending your broken places.  Without you even knowing it, He is guiding your progress in the direction of where He is taking you next. 

What I know about words, is that they mean different things to different people. What they say and mean in one season, don’t always hold up in the next.  God’s Words, however, are the same yesterday, today, and in all the tomorrows to come.

Our stories are still being written so that we will understand how He is working all things out for our good.  He provides us with just the right mix of vowels and consonants, nevers and forevers, so that nothing is missing, nothing is wasted.  Sometimes, we have to wait a bit to see it all come together.  

But it will. 

His love, His promises, never end.

Never is a long, long time.  

The First Stone

Have you ever had this happen?  Someone you know brings up a memory from a long time ago and —although it sounds vaguely reminiscent — their version of the story is not at all like how you remember it.  It happens often when my kids get together.  They will go on an on about “the time we did such and such,” and then retell what I said or did when I found out.  They think it’s all in good fun.  But it makes me wonder… What was I going through at the time that would cause me to react that way? 

I guess we all have things that we would rather forget. 

There are so many versions of “truth.”  In families, in politics, in friendships — while experiencing the exact same circumstance, people can have completely different outcomes.  What might help one, harms another. What causes one person to better understand what they don’t want in their life, creates an attraction to it for someone else.  Where we hope to unite, we divide — and vise versa. One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor.  

It’s so complex.  How are we ever to know what to say and do?

My son in law was reminded of what his dad always said to him. “It all just boils down to treating others they way you want to be treated.  If everyone just would do that one thing, everything would be better all the way around.”  Exactly.

Jesus taught this version of the Golden Rule, while drawing in the sand before the woman who was caught in adultery.  “Let anyone of you who is without sin be the first to cast a stone at her.”  In other words, no one is perfect.  We are all sinners, and all are deserving of compassion and grace. 

As I often say here, I think a lot about legacy.  Of course, I know my kids are going to have stories that will not always have me shining in the brightest light.  But I hope they will also remember the books we read, the songs we sang, the times we danced in our jammies in the living room, sat on the couch and just talked, or laughed at the silliest things until tears ran down our faces.  I hope that they will look back and know that their dad and I did our best to raise them well, and that love for them was one commodity we had plenty of.

And so it is with God.  Sometimes, all we can recall is our versions of the difficulty and the hurt, and how hard it was to push through.  We note the times we’ve come up short, and the trauma of things we endured without ever understanding why.  And we question Him just a little — Why all the stones?

God looks at the very same things and says, “You didn’t understand it at the time, but there’s a reason for that which you will see down the road.” He reminds us of our blessings, of the times he carried us through, how He heard and answered our prayers, how He was with us when we danced, and counted the tears as we cried.  We’re His kids, and His love for us never ends.

That’s His legacy in our lives.

No one is perfect.  People will blame us, speak ill of us, and fail as they do to look in their own mirrors.  Most, we hope, will remember our attempts to be there when they needed, to not forget a birthday, to teach by example in how we work, and love, and live.  They will recall our kindness, our honesty, our character.   They will realize, that though we walk by faith, we still might make a wrong turn now and then.  And sometimes, when we’ve tried hard to treat others as we would like to be treated, it still doesn’t change the outcome.

There are times we all need a gut check.  I ask myself often — If I died today, would I leave enough behind for those I love to remember me well?  

Everyday is a new opportunity to make certain that the answer is yes.

God doesn’t just want us to treat each other as we would want. He wants us to love each other as He does. 

Perhaps it’s not so complex after all. 

Even when one person’s version of truth is different from your own, it’ll be alright.  Keep leading with your heart, and you’ll get where you need to be. 

Remember to love well… and the rest will take care of itself.

The Blank Canvas

Some people are afraid of quiet.  The TV, the radio… something has to be on in the background.  I have kids who could study and listen to music at the same time, and I was always amazed.  The quiet settles me.  I need it to focus, to think, to pray… That’s just the way my mind works.

I’ve had occasion lately to dive deeper into the quiet.  I find myself in need of a respite, a reset.   Paul’s words beckon me in Roman’s 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind… I just wish I could understand how it’s done.  If only he had left us with instructions — or even a YouTube video.  

There are so many things in life that come to us, served on platters that we are expected to simply digest and then move along.  It just doesn’t work out that way.  Some things still bother us, there are people we are soul tied to, shadows of missteps and used to be’s that seem to follow us no matter what we do to lose them.

We can be happy in what we have, but sometimes there is a gnawing in our spirits that calls us to bandage up what is still seeping from our hidden, unhealed places. 

If only it were easy.

I’ve come to understand that time is not always the healer we think it is.  As if there is an expiration date, folks just don’t understand that the deeper the wound, the longer it takes.  There are seven stages of grief.  Sometimes we get stuck in one stage before we can move to the next.

Our truest identities are never in what was, what happened to us, or in what we do or do not have.  We belong to God. He alone can take what we have endured and create from it something of purpose.  He offers us a blank canvas, and we keep trying to paint pictures of what used to be, not of what’s coming —not of what is possible.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you hope and a future - Jeremiah 29:11

God wants us to create, not just a new picture of what our lives can be, but a mural so that we can see the expanse of where we’ve been and where we’re going.  We get to pick the colors. We just have to be willing to put down the ones that no longer depict us as well as they used to.  Maybe we need to choose a little less gray.

I think it’s natural to keep trying to tie up the frayed ends that tether us to our used to be’s.  It’s how we finish up old business.  It’s how we go about trying to prove, if to no one else but ourselves, that we mattered, that we did the best we could.  We want to feel the connection back to who we were, so that we can feel “normal” again.  It never works.

God wants us to renew our thinking, our minds, so that we can see that we matter to Him and we don’t have to prove a thing.  He loves us just the way we are.  He has for us colors that are lovely, and good, and fresh, and new — and He’s waiting on us to begin using them. 

God is always calling us to renewal. 

Some things are hard to understand.  It’s not our job to figure them out, no matter how hard we try.  Some people will treat you badly, will never apologize, will never build a bridge.  Jobs will end, sickness and circumstances will cause us to fear… And all we have is God.

We have to lay it all down to see that the blank canvas is a gift.  Perhaps it wasn’t how we envisioned it.  But we have the chance to paint new scenery, new celebrations, new identity in who God is calling us to be.   

I think Paul would say that the instructions are not hard, but it takes a little work.  We need to be equipped with faith and an equal measure of acceptance. We need to pray, fast, stand, read the Word, journal, rinse and repeat.  We need to learn to recognize that who we are becoming is greater because of what we’ve been through, not in spite of it.

It’s not an overnight fix.  Renewing our minds, our hearts, our circumstances, takes time and patience.  There is plenty of grieving and lots of letting go.

But it will happen.  

That blank canvas before you…?  Don’t be afraid to be bold.  Splash whatever colors your heart desires upon it.  Dream.  Expect miracles. That is what renewal is all about.

Trust what is coming. 

God wants you to know ahead of time, that it will be a masterpiece. 

Philippians 4:8  - Finally bothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable —  if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about these things.  

The Thimble

I have lots of stories about  “The Gals” in my life.  They are comprised of my grandmother, a couple great aunts, and an old favorite cousin who lived on Cape Cod…  Oh how these ladies would laugh and enjoy the simplest of pleasures with such gusto — a Sunday supper with all the fixings, a game of cards, tipping a glass or two —but most of all, just being together.  The world could be at war, the economy in shambles, their men at times were somewhere south of perfect, but they always had fun and found reasons to count their blessings.

I find such comfort in thinking of them and what they taught me… About honesty, hard work, standing up for your country, believing the best in those God gave you to love, and not wavering in doing what is right.  This is my ancestry — a rich heritage of women who walked by faith and loved without relent.  

A thought of them popped into my head the other day, when I came across an old thimble in a drawer.  They were all so crafty, handy, and practical. The thimble was dull silver and well worn, and I could easily imagine it donning the middle, arthritic finger of any one of The Gals. They never minded the time it took to mend something that needed a quick stitch. They didn’t procrastinate or put off what could be done today.  From hems to hearts, they lay their hands to it.  Everything was fixable to them.  Everything.

 I could not help but see a contrast to my own wash and wear life.  

How easily we cast aside things, people, clothes — Maybe it’s missing a button, a seam that has given way, a tuck that is needed to draw closer, to sew together again what has separated.  There is this mound we designate as the “When I Have Time I’ll Take Care of That” pile.  It lurks in the corner of our closets, or on a To Do list that never gets checked off.  After enough time has passed, in one fell swoop, how easily that pile gets tossed among other things that are destined for Good Will, where someone else will appreciate what we no longer do.  

I’m not proud of that.  

The point to all of this is not, of course, just an expose’ of my family lineage.  But rather, how something, as simple as a thimble, makes a statement of — not just character, but of faith.

You see, the thimble is used to push through fabrics with a needle, to mend or to create, so that it is made stronger, better, more beautiful.  Something so small, when used properly, can make all the difference.

And so it is with faith.  The difference between having some and not, is much the same.  A mustard seed — or a thimble full — can change everything as we tend to our life situations. We all have rips and things that have let go.  We have plenty that needs our attention, if only we would stop putting them off.  Sometimes, we can see ourselves and our circumstances, as damaged and beyond repair.  But with just a little faith, we can push through, believing for restoration, knowing that everything and everyone has value.  

It can be small enough to fit on the tip of a finger, but it can do for us so much good if only we will try it on for size.  We don’t need to give in to tendencies to throw our hurts, our dreams, our yearnings into a pile, thinking that we’ll get to them in time.  Deep down, we know that if we don’t do the work, they will not get mended. Nothing will change.

The Gals had seen it all in their day, and then some.  But they still found reasons to be happy, and grateful, and mindful of their purpose to walk in love and see the best in everything.  That didn’t mean that everything was always good, just like what burdens your heart or mine.  But they found a way to mend, to sow and reap, to laugh and cook and find merriment in little things. 

I miss them more than words can say, but they have left me with lots of things to remind me of their hearts and spirits.

Mend a seam, a fence, a hurt, a broken anything — thread it though with faith and love and courage.  

We are made stronger, healed, more beautiful with every stitch.  

Don’t toss it in the pile. Look it over. Grab a thimble, say a prayer, and push through what is hard.  Know that you are never, ever alone. Everything is fixable.  Everything.  

Sometimes, it’s just waiting on us to thread the needle, to take the chance, and to believe that all things are possible with a little bit of faith. 

Mary Bryant is the author of "When He Walks Away… Hearing God When Your Husband Leaves Your Marriage,” a 5-Star rated book available on Amazon

The Things We Think We Want

Like many people, I hear myself saying the phrase “It is what it is…” far too often.  As if that settles it. As if that excuses people and situations that are less than ideal, and somehow, all is made palatable with those words.

I hate it.

A few years ago, when the stakes were really high, this sentence was used to explain to me why someone’s behavior was so egregious, so hurtful, that there simply was nothing else that could be said except “It is what it is.”  Not — I’m sorry I smashed your heart to pieces.  Nothing that signaled remorse or even the smallest attempt at faux empathy.  As if all accountability was tied up with the dangling participles of that phrase, all that was left for me to do was accept it and move on.  

I’ve been thinking about the things we think we want, and how we go about getting them.  I mean, let’s face it. Some people can be cruel.  They go off in search of greener pastures, friends, relationships — they are sure they have the golden ticket.  They burn bridges, turn their backs, and discard what no longer works with their new narrative. Like a chameleon, they take on new looks and personalities.  They give all they have away for a chance to grab the golden ring and fill the voids hidden deep within them.  No cost is too great… 

But is this real?  Is it what it is?

I have good friends and family in ministry.  How many times have I heard, after decades of counseling people, “I know they think they’re happy now, but it’s not going to end well…” Like a template - or a best selling novel - there is always a time when the other shoe drops.  The merry-go-round simply stops.

We all know the story of the prodigal son.  Perhaps we have even taken a turn or two at forsaking a friend or family member, only to find when the night is long and we are stuck looking at the pig slop, we realize how comforting knowing them again would be. 

I think God waits for us here. This is where He finally gets our attention and can tell us the truth.

So what?  I’m sure you are wondering what my point is.  It’s not a hard one, really.  It’s just that, what we think we want, is often held together by the things that don’t flash and sparkle and zoom.  They aren’t dashing men or women, jet setting adventures, or the non-stop fun of some happy-go-lucky life. 

Instead, they are quiet and comfortable, honest and true.  They are the smell of your favorite meal, an old episode of Friends, a compassionate voice on the other end of the phone.  They are being able to picture what your next season will be like, and who will be in it with you.  It’s hearing the rain on your roof at night and thanking God everyone is safe.  

God never promises that what we go through won’t come at a cost.  We have to go through Jericho to reach the Promised Land.  But when we get there, if we have fought the good fight, if we are living faithfully, lovingly, honestly — if we are following Him even when it’s hard, we will know the comfort of a job well done.  We will appreciate the milk and honey.  We will understand that having what we want, comes by standing, and being patient, and waiting on Him.

That is what it is. 

Neon lights go out in time, as do the fly by night feelings of flashy friends and people.  The party always ends, eventually.  The question is, what did you sell for the fleeting moments these gave?  

God knows.  He’s waiting for you to figure it out. It’s never too late.

And if you are the one left praying for your prodigal, keep praying.  Know that He is with you, and He has a plan for all that happens, even though it means we need to walk in the valley for a while. 

Keep the faith.  The real thing we want comes with a name.  

It is called Peace. 

You can’t buy it, and you won’t find it “out there” somewhere.

God is your unlimited supply.

Go on — get you some.  He already paid the price.

All you need to do, is ask.

The See Saw

I go through periods when I am teetering on the edge of something that I can’t describe.  My emotions run the gamut between sizzle and bake.  I’m flush with adrenaline one minute, sullen in reflection the next.  The truth is, I want to be one way, but the tug of uncertainty draws me into shadows I wish I could ignore. 

I guess it’s common in this thing called Life, right?  We are often on a see saw between breakdown and breakthrough, and it can make a gal weary.

We are up and we are down.  

How we would like to stretch our legs and just rest a bit somewhere in the middle.  Somewhere steady.  An even keel where everything is copasetic, our hair looks good, and everyone we meet has something nice to say.   This in-between place is the sweet spot.  There’s no teeter, no totter.  Complacency is where all the happy people live — or so we think. 

What I have come to understand, is that growing, changing, and healing, all take friction, not rest.  When we dig in, when we avoid confronting our feelings, our issues, our weight, our blindspots… we coast without direction.  We numb ourselves to certain truths, thinking that we will do something about them tomorrow.  Not that this is bad.  It’s just that for things to be different, we have to do something different.  

In limbo, we can point and blame and soothe ourselves into believing that “It is what it is,” and we simply need to learn to accept things as they are. This never moves us forward.

What in the world does this have to do with faith? It’s simple, really.

I don’t believe that God intends for us to live in limbo.  He’s always trying to draw the best out of us, to stretch our thinking, to see more than just “what is.”  He wants us to reawaken our passion for what could be, and this can make us feel a little uncomfortable.  In order for Him to take us to new heights, we need to be willing to let go of what tethers us to old ones.

I hate to admit that things are never going to be the way they used to be. But I have to be real. People that I once loved, are not simply going to waltz back and put all that toothpaste back in the tube again.  My body is not going to be it’s younger version of fit, my kids will not be little, my dog, a spry puppy again… My heart may still yearn for what once was. 

All I know is that God has a plan and I have to trust Him with it.  He is always moving us forward, wanting for us to open our eyes, begging us to understand that just because things around us look different, they still can be good.

It’s daunting to dream again when you have silently given up and are resigned to what is.  It’s too much to believe that there is more — love, provision, healing, adventure — when we are so used to just getting by.  It’s hard to understand that God knows us, is cheering for us, wants to infuse our spirit with fresh hope and vision. 

He is the friction between breakdown and breakthrough.  We’ve got to be willing to defy gravity, to get airborne just a little bit, and trust that the fulcrum is balanced between where we’ve been and where we are going.

The see saw feeling means we are working at it.  You have to hit the low spots so that you can come back up again. 

All of this to say, you’re doing just fine, girl. 

Your breakdown is where you push off and find your breakthrough.  Soon you’ll be able to feel the momentum and the rhythm of His promise.

I see you… I’ve got you…I see you…I’ve got you…

The sky is the limit when we believe for what comes next.

Ready, now… Push.

On the Water

I have been blessed this week to be with family at the beach.  There is nothing so healing as white sand, blue sky, and a teal, green-blue ocean to calm the nerves and round the corners of an often too edgy gal.  This place is my reset button.

I get quiet at the beach.  Not that we didn’t have tons of fun.  We have. But the water draws me into myself, my circumstances, my dreams that still beckon and tease and keep me hopeful despite some surly, big stops and starts. 

I am able to see at the sea.   Promise and possibility coexist with disappointment and difficulty, and somehow I can find the perspective I need to do a little emotional and mental sand sifting.  I always leave here a little bit different than when I arrive.

I’ve heard it said that one teaches the very thing they want most to learn for themselves.  I believe this is true.  Perhaps this is why I take up space each week to draw upon the canvas of faith, arranging images against the backdrop of everyday life.  I want to prove — as much to myself as to others — that God is in everything.   He’s in control even when we can’t understand His ways.  

I’ve come to understand that faith is like the tide.  Ebb and flow… ebb and flow….ebb and flow… 

There are times when it is strong, rushing in, bold and unstoppable.  All is going well. We are loved, we are whole. We can point to things all around us to substantiate its mighty power.  We feel buoyed by grace, blessed and fortified.  We sense that we have Him figured out. That as long as we are in the Faith Zone, nothing bad can happen to us.

And then it does. 

The clouds hide the sun, the current changes, and the sea gets rough. We find ourselves thrashing about, panicking, treading water… We are desperate for evidence, not only that He exists, but that He knows us and all that we must contend with.  We feel lost, abandoned even.  Shipwrecked.

These are the times when we simply don’t understand how a loving God could let us drift, carried away by a riptide of troubles.  We want to see Him move and show us the way out.  All we are trying to do is follow Him, but nothing about our circumstances seem to change.  The wind has left our sails and we feel empty of everything to propel us forward.

Ebb and flow…ebb and flow… ebb and flow… In time, it all flows back again. 

I wish I understood how the moon affects the tide. My mind just can’t comprehend it. But not being able to understand it, doesn’t mean it’s not doing what it will.  I can’t explain a lot of things.  But I sense that there is a purpose and incredulity in all that God does that is only for Him to know and us to discover as we go. 

We have to trust Him even when our faith is at low tide. 

God is the Master of the Universe.   He designed life and all that is in it with two sides  — birth and death, good and evil, night and day… high tide and low.  People come and go. Feelings and provision and even love, wax and wane, ebb and flow — and somewhere in the middle we live. 

The only constant is God.  He loves us, holds us, heals us… He wants us to know that He will never leave us, even on our cloudy, rainy days — and most especially then. 

He’s there, on both sides of life.  

When we beg for proof, He sends a rainbow, a sunset, beautiful shells along the shore at twilight. 

He’s always trying to tell us something and He will walk on the water to do it.

Believe in Me… I’m here… I love you… Your better days are still ahead…I have a plan…I know it hurts…

If your faith is running low, hold on.   Keep your eyes on the horizon.

High tide will come again soon.

It always does. 

When it's Time to Let Go

I don’t know if there is a tougher subject to write about.  Maybe it’s because it comes so close to the core, so close to the thing I struggle with the most, that it’s almost like pulling back the curtain and bearing my naked being to all who care to peek.

There is nothing to hide here.  No place to run.  No pontificating about the the simple tricks of how to shortcut to an easier path, no guide to a 10-Steps to a Healthier You. It’s raw and unrehearsed. And oh, so very hard.

And I know you know what I’m talking about.

It is no secret that our roles in life are always changing.  We can be doting mothers in one season, and empty nesters in another —all within a breath of time we can hardly comprehend.  We are daughters and sisters and friends, and even these go through metamorphosis that draws us close or separates.  We are wives and then sometimes we are not. We are in relationships that wax and wane and fill us up or leave us wanting.  

So many faces we show to one another.  

And let’s not forget the one that greets us in the mirror.  The one we can’t pretend with.  The one who knows all the secrets, all the flaws, all the lists of things we hope and pray for, all the yearnings for better days.  This one knows our mistakes, our wishes for what we could do-over, our if-only-I-had-tried-harder whisperings.

We all think there is going to be a place where we arrive and all these roles will read like a memoir, enumerating our achievements, everything all tied up in pretty bows.  We will finally be satisfied, finally able to let it all rest.

Except we don’t.  We ruminate and soothe what can’t be explained with phrases like “I did the best I could” or “If I had only known….” 

What do we do with these unsettled places?  

I was talking to a friend recently, trying to explain the phenomenon of moving on from a role that’s no longer mine —a feeling that the world would long say I should let go of, hang up for good.  “It’s like Phantom Limb Syndrome,” I said.  “Part of me was amputated and yet I still feel it, the nerves still intact, my life blood still flowing to it.”  No matter what I do, what I say, what I try…It’s. Still. There.

I think as faithful people, we are meant to believe that God makes all things better.  He does.  But that doesn’t mean there aren’t heartaches and circumstances and things that come along with us from one season to the next, that we hope will one day change if we just don’t relent in praying and believing for it to happen.

There’s a fine line we walk.  Our hearts yearn for an answer, a resolution.  We learn to somehow lay it all at God’s feet, while still carrying on with today and going about life as if it will never come.

Faith allows us to do both at the same time, and I think that is the whole point. 

When we walk in faith, we understand that God is always at work, always moving, always soothing our spirits even when we don’t know where to put all the fraying places.  He wants us to believe that even when we lose sight of who we are, He never does.  He knows what comes next, and what is next after that, and after that…. He is always moving mountains even when it feels like we are standing still. 

He never, ever said it would be easy.

Letting go comes with peaks and valleys. It comes in drips and dribbles.  It’s comes with constantly realigning where we are with where we want to be and somehow adjusting.  It’s peeling off our grip on situations and people and memories, one finger-hold at the time… And it’s exposing ourselves enough to say we don’t always have it all together.

Whatever it is that keeps you tethered, that has you silently yearning, that has you still waking up at night, know that you are not alone.  God is with you in the midnight hour.  He’s with you in your mourning, in your anguish, in your used to be’s… 

All I can tell you now is this… What you are going through takes time.  In each and every step you take, know that He goes before you and He knows what’s up ahead.  

As long as you have breath, there is hope, there is healing, there is new life.  

Letting go only means you are letting Him do what only He can do.

Just because you still feel things, doesn’t mean you aren’t making progress. 

You are.  

The mountain is moving even when you can’t yet see it.  

You’re doing just fine, girl.  

Keep going. 

When Your All is Not Enough

Have you ever poured your heart and soul into something and have it not turn out the way you hoped?  Once more, you are stuck — trying to pick up the pieces, constantly examining every angle, reconstructing in your mind where you went wrong.  

I know I have. 

There are some aspects to life we never understand.  We are taught that if we do our best, if we give it the ol’ college try, that somehow things are just supposed to end well.  We are able to glean from the experience and take it home like a trophy.  We will have something to show that we were in it to win it. 

Only that’s not how it feels.  We are disillusioned to find that our effort and our outcome don’t match.  We are left hallow.  Empty.

There are always questions that linger, sometimes even for years down the road.   Why?  Wasn’t I good enough?  Smart enough? Pretty enough?  What could I have done differently…?  Questions like these haunt us, following us like a shadow, weighing us down.  We want to reinvent ourselves, start fresh, create new vision and purpose.  The problem is, our feet are stuck in yesterday.

What in the world do we do?  Why has God not lifted the yoke that keeps us tethered to situations and people who have long seen their day?  I wish I knew.

Like you, I have heard all the cliche’s, all the catchy phrases that are supposed to tie up our circumstances into neat little bows like packages of wisdom - “It wasn’t meant to be!” “There is better out there!” “Rejection is protection!” 

You are dressing open heart surgery with a bandaid and wonder why you’re not healing.

What I have come to understand, is that some things don’t just take time, they take a whole lot of it.  It’s never just a matter of “moving on.”  I think we are supposed to mourn, we are supposed to dwell on our “what if’s,” we are supposed to examine the post mortem.  And though none of this ultimately resolves our hurt, it does perhaps help us to isolate it.  It is only then, when it no longer consumes us, that we can sense a new perspective taking shape.

God doesn’t ask of us what the world does.  He’s not looking down, shaking his head and saying “You’re not over that yet?”  He is infinitely patient when we come to Him, reciting our litanies of why things are hard, how we feel wronged, and the begging of Him to do something about it.  We want a miracle.  We want to see Him move and change our failures into victories.

God always works from the inside - out.  He sometimes has to change us, so that we can change our circumstance.  He helps us to see new pathways that before we had not wanted to acknowledge.  He desires for us to understand that bad things happen, that people have free will, that we are not always going to have the answers we want.  He is not the cause of the things that bring us to our knees, but He is there with us.  He wants us to trust Him with showing us the way through it.

It’s what we do while standing in the wreckage that determines our tomorrows.

It’s hard to believe, isn’t?  How can good come out of sickness, addiction, persecution, or failure?  How can losing a job or someone that we love, possibly provide us with triumph?  How can good come from devastation?

Only He knows. 

Here is what I cling to when I have done all that I know how to do.  I sense Him in my suffering.  I believe in His plans even when I don’t see the evidence of where He is taking me.  I surrender to my faith in Him even when I still question why.

All of this is easier said than done.  

He is the glue that holds us together when everything around us is falling apart.  He gives us glimpses of possibility, of renewal, of new life.   He reminds us that our present hurts and circumstances are not our life… They are fodder for what comes next.

Hold on. I know how hard it is. You are enough. 

Despite what it looks like, God knows what He is doing.  Keep your eyes on Him and push through it one day, one hour, one moment at the time.

You are not forsaken. You have not failed.  You will see victory again.

Believe it.

Blue Skies, Dark Days

I think that I am an “either/or” kind of gal. I’m either all in or I’m out.  I’m either for something or against it.  There is right and there is wrong, in my book.  And though this sounds as if I am without compassion or empathy, that would be wrong.  I am also all about grace.  I believe in seeing the best in people.  This is just how I govern my life.

The problem is, the world is not so easily defined.  There is good and there is bad in just about anything and everyone.  Taken to extremes, everything reaches a saturation point.   Breakdowns happen. 

There is plenty these days that feels like we are being forced to pick a side.  We are guilted, even.  Caused to be painted into a corner, to be marked by some symbol, some identifying trait that would have us thrown on one side of an issue or the other.  

Sadly, there is no middle ground here.  There are no rules.  It’s truly either/or.  And the world is on fire.

You wonder, don’t you? What is God thinking about us right now?  He’s watching, seeing the unraveling, witnessing our “free will” be doled out in heaps of hate and fear and raw emotions that are channeled into ways we hardly recognize.  

Where are the rules?  Where is the grace?  Where is the love?

I was talking with some friends of mine the other day, trying to come to grips with all of what we are now living through.  And we came to the conclusion that it’s a heart issue, not a skin issue.  

Everything in life comes from the heart.  Everything.  It’s when when we dilute our thinking with exceptions, when we make what is unacceptable “acceptable because….,” when we essentially play God, we are headed for trouble.

And here we are in Troubleville.

The forces of evil, invisible powers that stir and instigate and channel behaviors, that would cause us to find the exceptions in every rule of good, all have a purpose.  

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy

I have come that they may have life,

and have it to the full

John 10:10

The condition of our hearts is what governs the patterns of our life.  If we are open and loving and kind, if we seek Him in all our ways, then what comes out of us, will be a reflection of Him within us.  We won’t  be influenced by darkness, by what is not right or kind or good.  We will walk out our love in action.

I know it sounds simple, right?  Everyone just gathering together and singing Kumbaya, and everything just comes out hunky dory… We know that’s not how it works, as much as we would like it to.

So what do we do?  How do we reconcile — not just the terrible things that are happening around us — but the other things, the burdens, the hurts, the circumstances that were not of our making.  How do we keep going when it feels like our world is unraveling faster than we can handle?

We pray.  We stand.  We believe that God is in control, despite what it looks like right now.  

Submit yourselves, then, to God. 

Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

There are powerful forces at work in our land. They are fighting to divide us, to harden us, to destroy us.  The personification of evil is being played out right before us. It is gut wrenching to witness lives being ruined and torn apart and taken over as if by mind-control.  Oh, how the enemy is having a field day.

I offer here the only thing I know for sure.   

God always wins.  Truth always prevails.  And though it is hard to believe that good will come from times such as these, it will.  It will.  It will.

It all starts with the heart.  Guard it and keep love flowing from it.  

Love triumphs over hate.  Good triumphs over evil.

God still reigns.

His is the only side that matters. 

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

I know you have said it before.  “What in the world the world am I going to do?”  You are between a rock and a hard place… Or worse.  You are boxed in, powerless, unable to see your way out of a circumstance that has no easy answers.  The situation at hand has brought you to your knees.

Good place to start.

When we are in a crisis, we wrestle with every angle.  We scan our consciousness for any possible solution, scenario, or exit out of what we are facing.  We devise what we think are benign schemes, manipulations, versions of how to get someone to see our point, our need, our side.  None of it works.

The first thing we need to do when we don’t know what to do, is counter-intuitive.  Because it is too simple.  It sounds crazy, even.  We “do” nothing.

Yes, I know.  This raises the hair at the back of your head.  I don’t mean the kind of nothing that is passive.  I don’t mean simply folding your arms across your chest and taking a siesta.  I mean the kind that starts with folding your hands, bowing your head, and listening deeply for God to speak.  It’s the kind of nothing that seeks His nudge, His lighting our feet upon a path so that we know where the next step needs to lead.  It’s deeply seeking our spirits for His plan to the point where everything else fades to the background, and we sense Him showing us the way. 

I’ve been here many times, and I’m sure you have as well.  

The point is, God’s presence in our situations speaks sometimes loudly and most times in the barest of whispers.  He might give you the smallest of signs that point to a confirmation of something you already know in your heart.  Perhaps its a consideration of another’s perspective that is different than the one that comes from a knee-jerk reaction.  Or maybe its a subtle reminder that your battle belongs to the Lord, and you need only to keep your eyes steady and your prayers constant.

All of God’s greatest victories in my life, have come by submitting to Him in obedience and learning the virtue of waiting for His plan to unfold.  It’s finding strength in learning to be patient.  It’s being watchful for His hand to move and mine to stay occupied with taking care of what’s in front of me to do.

Does this mean we don’t plan, or take action, or have a vision inside our heads for what we want our resolutions to be?  No.  Just the opposite.  What this means is that we commit  to Him whatever we do, what we want for our tomorrows, while having the faith that He is going to make a way.

Sometimes, the way seems impossible.  God gives us only tiny glimpses, flickers of feeling that resonate with our spirits and cause us to keep going.  He wants us to trust Him with the result. We certainly can never know how things are going to turn out.  But our faith will give us the stamina to believe that they will, and it will be for the best. 

In all that we do, if we do it as He would have us, we are participants in divine outcomes.  How we speak, how we conduct ourselves, what we harbor in our hearts… These are the hallmarks of walking by faith. These are guideposts that keep us tethered to Him and all that He is doing on our behalf.

May the peace of God hold you, encourage you, strengthen you on your walk.  May you sense His presence in every step you take. And may you know in your spirit, that even when you don’t know what comes next or what you are to do, He does.

Waiting on God, is not doing nothing.  It’s everything. 

The Weight of it All

One of the greatest burdens we carry around with with us, is guilt.  Given to us by others, or taken willingly upon ourselves, it is weight that we cannot easily shed.  I have known people who have lugged this trunk on their backs for decades, carrying it with them wherever they go because they feel it is their lot. 

My own father, a good man in most ways, is one of them.  There is not a soul on earth who will ever know the darkness he kept so deeply buried that he could never give it up.  It affected him without relent.  The greatest tragedy of guilt, is that it cuts us off from love.  Either in giving or receiving, we don’t feel worthy.  So we hide, we deflect, we blame, we drink too much, and ever so slowly, life seeps out of us. 

Jesus, of course, came to change that.  He came to take it all away.  To wash us clean. To make us new.  In the simplest of ways, by just accepting Him, lives are changed.  Hearts of stone are turned to flesh.  The burden is forever lifted.

It’s never too late.

Sometimes I get caught up in only seeing others, people whom I have loved deeply, for their grievous faults and weaknesses. I forget that underneath it all, they are broken and hurting and in need of a Savior.  They think that they can outrun the truth.  They project and spin and lash out, not because I deserve it, but because they know nothing else.  Their burdens are weighing them down.  They are my dad with different names.

I know that this seems like a heavy blog.  It’s hard to write.  But it’s important because I want to frame a truth here that is vital to our peace. 

I bet you know someone too who has hurt you beyond your capacity to understand.  I bet you have carried with you shame and guilt and confusion as to why you feel inadequate or somehow deserving for what has happened.  Maybe you weren’t loved or protected as a child.  Or maybe someone you loved turned their back on you, or worse.  Heartache comes in all different shapes and sizes.    

No matter how old we get, we are just children.  No matter what we wear, what car we drive, where we live, we are all the same.  We live and breathe and yearn for for the same things.  We want to be understood.  We want those we love to love us back.  We want to be known for our honesty, our faithfulness, our sense of right and wrong.  We want to be thought of as kind, and funny, and generous. 

Sometimes things happen along the way, and a lifetime of love gets dumped out and we are left to pick up the pieces of ourselves.  We have a thousand questions and no answers. We somehow have to go forward, when all know we how to do is look back in trying to make sense of it all.

What I am offering here will seem over-simplified and wanting when what you seek is balm for a wounded spirit.  But it is the only truth I know.

Give it to God.  Bring all your dirty laundry, your heartaches, your loved ones, your pain, your disappointments, your guilt, your shame, your unforgiveness, your weariness, your mistakes and bad decisions… Give to Him the things others have done. Your abandonment.  Your need for healing and provision.  Lay it all at His feet.  

Be released from thinking you have to carry any of it.  That’s what He came for.  Be renewed in the freedom He gives you to walk unencumbered.  All of these things — all of them — you can do nothing about.  Only He can.

And He will, if you let Him.

People and circumstances are going to challenge you.  Hurts and difficulties will weigh you down.  God stands with you, His arms wide open to lift these from your shoulders so that you can see that it doesn’t have to be this way.  That a new season, a new life is yours, and it starts by letting it all go.

When we give it to Him, things change.  Things mend. Things happen for our good.

He loves you.  He’s here for you.  He’s able to do immeasurably more than what we can hope for or imagine.  

It’s simple, really.  

Hand it over.  Go on… you know you can do it.

His hands are open and He’s waiting for you to make the first move.

Ready, now.  Give to Him all that weighs you down and watch for your miracles to come. 

Not Yet

One the hardest things to do is wait.   I don’t mean the waiting we do when when there’s a long line to check out at the grocery store.  I mean the kind that we do when it feels like life is on hold, when what we long for deep within us has no sign of manifesting.  When you are pleading for rain, and there’s not a cloud in the sky.

We all have seasons like this.  Maybe it’s a job you need, a healing, a heart mending, or to see someone you love receive their prayers being answered.  We carry these yearnings with us wherever we go.  They are attached to us like shadows.

I am astounded, when looking at the the expanse of time that I have been holding on to an unanswered prayer, and I wonder why God has not yet done what I think He should have. Isn’t He a God of miracles?  Doesn’t He say to us to knock and the door will be opened?  I know I’ve been knocking. I know He can hear me… So why does it feel like nothing has changed?  Why does it sometimes seem that what I am believing for will never come? 

Faith is a force that keeps us standing when that is all we can do.  It is a silent hope that somehow causes us to still believe when all evidence is absent.  When there is nothing in your hands to prove that what you hope for will ever happen, faith keeps your heart beating in a cadence of “not yet.”  It will happen…  It will happen… It will happen… Just not yet…

I don’t know why God keeps us waiting.  In a world of instant gratification, of anything goes, it seems that when we walk in faith, we are transversing a desert while everyone else is on the highway.  When we put our trust in God, the world is quick to show us what it would do in our situations. 

Of course, we don’t know all God’s ways.  We can never understand why some things happen the way they do, why people hurt other people, why the enemy seems to have his way in our lives.  All I know, is that God has a plan.  He turns people and circumstances around in ways that are miraculous, one tiny step at the time.  I think we often wait for the clap of thunder to announce His movement, when He is in the whisper.  He is in the things that seem insignificant, and perhaps completely unnoticed.

He’s always at work. 

I know that the season is long.  I know that you grow weary of standing.  I know that your heart has a burden that you silently lug around wherever you go because it never leaves you.  I know only too well…

I wonder how many years Abraham and Sarah waited for Isaac to be born?  Or how long Ruth stood in honoring Naomi, in doing what was right, before Boaz came into her life?  

In everything we do, we are moving closer and closer to seeing what we have been believing for come to pass.  It’s in how we do it, that matters.  It’s in keeping our hearts open to seeing what He is doing in the little things, in staying obedient to His ways, in keeping our eyes on Him no matter what it looks like.

God does hear us.  He knows what we are going through.  He is working all things out for our good, even if it is working out differently than we hoped.  

If you are in a place of waiting, keep trusting Him. Keep standing.  Keep believing. Even when you can’t see the evidence, the answer is not “no.”  It’s just “not yet.”  And sometimes, it’s because what He is doing is even better than what we have been praying for.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work with in us, to Him be the glory.  Ephesians 3:20

Your waiting is never in vain.  Keep the faith.  There is a cloud, and soon it will rain and bring with it what your heart is yearning for.  

Just wait and see. 

The Secret

Did you ever have one of those moments when you had a reaction to something that seemed perhaps a tad too… well, personal?  Something someone says or does triggers you in such a way that you can’t help yourself.  Words come out of your mouth like bullets, with a velocity of emotion you can’t help but have to apologize for afterwards.

Such a thing happened to me the other day.

Friends of mine, in their second decade of marriage, were so casually marking their wedding anniversary — bickering even — that when the comment, “It’s no big deal,” was spouted, I got riled.  “It’s not, until you don’t have them to celebrate anymore.”  It was raw, knee jerk, from the gut —and true.

How much we take for granted in this life.

I’ve heard it said, “What you are complaining about, someone else is praying for.” 

There are so many things we wish we could “do over.”  We gain wisdom as we grow, as we age, as we see the consequences of how not tending to the little things, manifests into much bigger things later.  Things, that if we had taken the time to address early, could have avoided hurt and heartache.

“A stitch in time saves nine.”

The truth is, there is so much that is a big deal, yet we are so numb, so distracted, that we put off doing anything about them.  And before you know it, it’s too late.

I think about this a lot when I skip over my prayers, when I mention them as if in passing to God, not really connecting my spirit with my words.  I dutifully rattle my list to Him, as if I were ordering a cheeseburger.  “Medium rare, no pickles, onions, or tomato, please.”  How casually we take bringing our petitions to God as if we are going through a drive thru and not laying our deepest yearnings before the King.

What is the secret?  How do we learn to observe what we have as blessings, even when we don’t feel that they are?  How do we climb out of the weeds inside our heads that have us mired in our self pity, our idyllic standards of what should be, and not seeing what is as already good?

It’s like when we are kids and we wish to be older… Until we are older and wish we could be kids. 

I think that God wants us to notice Him in everything.  He’s always trying to tell us something.  He wants for us to know that all we have is now, this moment, this opportunity to be gracious and kind and appreciative for what is in our hands and who is sitting around our tables.  When we include Him, we see Him in each other. 

Celebrate your milestones. Take stock in knowing there is no such thing as perfection.  Happiness comes only when we stop noticing the blemishes, the “bug me’s,” the incidentals that way too easily cause us to brood and blame. We need to stop thinking our better life is out there somewhere.  Our best life starts here. 

Life is certainly not always easy.  We don’t always get everything right.  We make mistakes. We lose things and people and misjudge more often than we probably should.

But, thankfully, God is always there to pick us up and dust us off.  He gives us Grace so that we can give it to others.  He works on us from the inside out, realigning our vision so that we can see Him more clearly and in turn, we can see others the same way. 

Love each other.  Pray deeply. Be thankful for each day and each new opportunity to do better, to complain less, to appreciate more.

Embrace what and who is before you before it’s too late.  Time does not stand still.

The secret to all things, is love. 

White Noise

I don’t know if it is my age or just the times we live in, but it seems that I cannot fall asleep anymore without noise.  Not the kind of noise that drones on from a TV screen, but white noise - a fan, the ambient sound of falling rain, waves lapping on the shore… It’s crazy, isn’t?  We need noise to cancel out the frequencies around us that distract and interrupt our peace. 

It is not just when we are trying to rest.  We are constantly bombarded by so many things.  Banter, advertisements, viruses… We are accosted, really, seeming unconvinced that we have the ability to think and process for ourselves what we believe, what we should do, how we should live.  

We’ve learned well how to speak in generalities about our faith, our politics, our interests… We white wash our identities to fit in and be liked.  And yet, we are thought uncaring or unaccepting when we don’t acquiesce to others who believe so far differently than us, that we are nearly shamed for our own principals. 

I’m so over it. 

I believe it was Bob Dylan who said “You’ve gotta stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.”  Exactly.

God is the rock on which I stand.  In the midst of chaos and storms, in the whirling, mind numbing drumbeat of this world where fear and evil reign, I ground myself in knowing that He is in control.  I surrender to no one but Him.

How about you?  Are you weary?  Do your head and heart feel heavy from the constraints of having to pretend that you are “okay” with things that are definitely not?  Are you afraid to trust that better days are coming?

They are.

God’s promises are real.  In His Word, He warns us to keep our feet upon the path of faith — of doing what is right, of seeking His ways.  The world taunts us to do as it does, tempting us to live as it lives.  The life of Anything Goes leads us farther from Him and from each other, until we no longer recognize ourselves.  We are not in Kansas anymore.  We are lost. 

We need His voice to cancel out the enemy.

Can you hear it?

There is a rumbling that comes like a whisper, beckoning us to Believe.  We can fast for a while from the news, from Pop culture, from social media — from friends who entertain us but do not add substantially to our spirits.  We need to take a sabbatical from listening to the static around us that occupies our heads and deflects us from truly hearing what our hearts are yearning for.

Peace. Reconciliation. Restoration. 

We have not because we ask not… And we are listening to the wrong things. 

I believe that we are in the midst of an Awakening.  The one thing I know for sure, is that God always has His way.  He always wins.  He lets us do our thing — to be distracted by things and people and nonsense that corrupt our minds and thinking so that we get off course.   In our nation, in our families, in our work… We are called to righteousness.  We are called to hear His voice and follow His ways. 

It is in Him that we find true peace and rest.  

Turn off the noise of the world that wants to render you like sheep — that wants you to follow and believe it's lies and celebrate sin. It’s sole purpose is to get you to relinquish your faith.  To stop believing that He can hear your prayers and that He is moving on your behalf. That He knows you and what you are going through, and that He has a plan even when you cannot yet see how He is working it out.

Listen deeply.  Stand in your truth.  He is calling you to believe that He knows what is best and it is always good. 

You already know what is true. 

Cut out the noise and get some sleep. 

The Stick

I was talking with a couple friends of mine who, like me, have reached the plus side of mid-life.  They’ve been through some stuff, these gals.  These are seasoned, lovely women who have put their all into raising their kids, doing what was right, showing up, and making do.  They have run the gamut between surviving and thriving, and back again. 

They know how to take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.  And they do it with grace.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how life doesn’t end with our last breath.  It goes on in what we’ve planted here on earth.  It goes forth in what we’ve taught our kids, the good we have done, the way we helped when perhaps we didn’t even know we were.  The stories others will tell of us, will be our legacy.  

It’s amazing, isn’t it?  We get to a place in life and we look around and say, “How in the world did I get here?”  Things aren’t what we imagined they would be.  There are still struggles. There are still things we had long-hoped would be behind us, wounds that still seep from time to time.  We have dreams we dare not put away because doing so would mean we have given up.  “Giving up,” is not a part of our vocabulary.

None of this is to say that life isn’t good.  It is.  We’re blessed.

The point of this, as my friends and I were sharing, is in understanding the profundity of consequences.  It’s about the forks in the road, the decisions that we made or were made for us, that caused a sequence of events to fall like dominoes.  We went right instead of left.  We said yes instead of no.  We stuck to our guns or gave in.  All of them — all of them — shaped what happened next. 

All too casually, life altering decisions are made that affect generations.  

There is an adage that I am fond of saying that says it best. “You can’t pick up one end of the stick without picking up the other.”  Good or bad, everything we do has a consequence that will speak to our character, to our faithfulness, to what beats our hearts. 

Gratefully, when we choose in error, when we make mistakes, when we hurt those we love, God is the fulcrum that balances how the other end of the stick lands.  He’s a God who likes to see ways mended, hurts healed, good come from bad.  He’s a God of second chances and peace and restoration. 

We cannot stop the consequences that must come like a caboose following a train.  But we can change our hearts.  We can take a different track.  We can redirect our energies, our forgiveness, our looking backwards, and plan for and envision the next stop.

We can create new seasons even when if feels as though we are surrounded by the rubble of old ones. 

I was talking with a family member, a pastor, who often reminds me of the power of prayer and the miracles that come when one does not relent in speaking life into dead situations.  When both ends of the stick have not only long been picked up, but also broken off and cast aside.

It’s never too late for dry bones to come to life. 

What I am trying to convey, is simple really.  We forget sometimes, that as long as there is breath, there is life.  That God is always at work.  That we make wrong turns and pick up sticks we never should have handled.  We are caused to live out the burdens of other people’s choices.  We get beaten down by the heaviness that at times will not relent.

But there is always hope. 

Don’t give in to listing all the reasons your faith is wearing thin.  Reignite the fire within you to believe for the impossible.  See past your present circumstances and imagine the possibilities of a new tomorrow.  Don’t rest on your yesterdays, but keep moving forward. 

I know it’s hard sometimes to see what God is doing.  But He is doing… He’s always doing. 

One stick laid across the other forms a Cross.

Remember that when you question if you are loved.

Look to it when you need a resurrection to help you believe for something new.

Don’t. Give. Up.

Everything we do has a consequence.

The Right Road

Traffic.  It’s one of those things we all need to contend with if you live in suburbia or anywhere even close to a city.  Having grown up near Los Angeles, the freeway crawl was real for me.  Thankfully, Charlotte is an upgrade, but still can be a challenge at peak hours. Seems these days we can’t escape it no matter where we live.

Have you ever taken what you think is a short cut, only to find you are either lost or completely held up by stop lights and gridlock?  If only you had stayed the course.  If only you had not taken the exit too early.  If only you had listened to your GPS.

Such is life. 

We plan our comings and goings, thinking we can avoid certain headaches and frustrations.  We map out our course inside our heads, just wanting to sail on through.  We don’t plan for pot holes and flat tires.  We think, for the most part, if we just keep it between the lines, we are going to get along just fine.  

I don’t need to tell you how difficult the road can become.  We have all traveled it.  We find ourselves out on the highway doing well, minding our business, and heading where we need to go.  And then, out of nowhere, comes a stone that hits our proverbial windshield, and how we see our life is cracked or shattered. 

Minor or major, there are times we all need repair.  I know you can relate.

My point is, when we go through a rough patch, it can take us a while to get back up to speed again.  Sometimes we are forced to the roadside, having to watch others flying past, seemingly unconcerned.  We compare and despair.  We feel like a Ford Pinto on a freeway of Tesla’s.  We think our circumstances are too broken to be fixed. 

We wonder if God can even see us.

Everyone has times like these.  We question where we went wrong.  We second-guess every turn we made in faith, every fork in the road where we went right instead of left, every time we slowed down when we should have kept on going.  How is it some people are just better with directions than we are?

Maybe those who take short cuts are better off after all. 

I have lived long enough to know that there is only one way to get there from here.  There are hazards and storms and road blocks and mayhem of all kinds that we must pass through.  It can’t be avoided.  Our tanks will be empty or full.  We will have passengers we love and those that get off earlier than we would like.  There will be some who want to take the wheel, challenge us, hurt us, tell us we don’t know where we are going, drive us into a ditch…

But God knows where we are even when we can’t see what’s ahead.

Our destination is not always clearly marked.  But if we travel guided by honesty, kindness, love, and faithfulness, we will get there.  It’s the long and narrow road that God wants us to follow, not the one that the world tells us we should.  

We are only lost when we think we can do this life without Him.

If you have pulled off the road and in need of repair, know He is with you.  You were never meant to go it on your own.  You may have made a wrong turn or two. You may have gotten off course, been distracted by something in your rearview mirror, or maybe decided that you would take a detour.

The good news is that it is never too late.  God is always ready to show you the way.  He can take on all your scratches and dents and breakdowns.  He’s been healing and rebuilding folks just like you and me since time began. 

He’s always ready to give roadside assistance, 24/7.  All we have to do is ask. 

Go on.  Give it a try.  Ask for directions.

Just open up the door, and let Him in.